The Journey to Manhood

In todays society many men have lost their place and struggle to find purpose in a world where they have been emasculated. From not having a father figure at all and being raised by a mother, or the father simply not having the gift of manhood to pass on himself. Growing up in a close family, with love and attention from both my parents I would hope to have felt I had made the transition from boy to man. My late teens and early 20's were about rebelling in many ways, and seeking approval from women. I often felt I was "posing" as what I though a man to be, and often this seemed to work in gaining the affections of women yet inside I felt empty. A huge transformation took place when I met a woman who really cared, and took me deeper into what I really wanted. Yet still empty and ended up losing that woman. Later I discovered personal development, and found I could open up and share which has been an amazing gift - but more a feminine energetic exploration than the masculine. It was very easy to communicate with all people, yet the spark of polarity or attraction with women was lost. Obviously as a masculine man this is acceptable, yet men in society have settled for this and instead of going for what they may truly desire from life, they distract themselves with work, alcohol, drugs and televisision. I never want to hear from my death bed - Brock Bowen was a nice guy who lived a comfortable life and never caused any trouble. My journey in finding my authentic masculine power has been, and will continue to be an eventful one. I am committed to being a superior man, a man who strives to truly and deeply give the gift I love to share with the world no matter the circumstances. This can sometimes be a struggle yet I can think of nothing more distasteful than living someone elses dream and being comfortable. When I am am pushing the edge and turning the impossible into the possible I truly feel alive. When I accept death is inevitable and I die a little each day, only then can I truly live. When I am prepared to stand strong in the face of uncertainty and face failure, success becomes possible. As I put aside all distractions and become completely present with the task at hand I am always amazed at the phenomenal results now possible.

The Light in You

One day, if you haven’t already, you are going to discover that you are beautiful.
Very, very beautiful.
And I pray, that on that day, you will be granted by the loving universe a great deal of courage, and grace…because it takes that to know your own beauty…and to walk through this world, discovering it over and over again. Because after you know, it always comes back to you. Even after the darkest night, or sometimes within it, when you feel your very ugliest, your beauty will begin to shine through and burn away all the heavy fabrics that obstruct it…like the sun. When you have seen the sun, you can never deny its existence again…no matter how dark things look. Even the darkness speaks only of light.
But this isn’t the beauty, however special, that we one day stumble upon in the mirror, or see a flash of through someone else’s eyes. These too are gifts beyond measure…but the beauty I am speaking of is a soul beauty that arrests you in a moment deep within, and unexpected. A soul beauty that crushes forever everything you thought you knew, and leaves you breathless. A beauty that will make you marvel forever in the secret shock of its revelation.
I wish you courage because as soon as the ecstasy overcomes you, there may follow a tidal wave of shame. You will want to cover everything you saw inside you, and deny its existence even to yourself. But you won’t be able to. Not ultimately. It will coerce you and seduce you with its truth and realness until there are no protests left. You will realize you are naked in the light, and clothes will never be the same…even if you put them on.
You might be appalled. It is one thing to feel good about yourself but seems entirely another to become this beautiful creature that you have seen yourself to be. And you know you will never be able to touch that beauty unless you open it to the world…and at first you may not know how…you may strive fruitlessly to find others who can meet you in that place, or vehicles to put it into art or words or to paint it onto scenes it doesn’t fit with…until finally…finally…it will spill out of cracks and find its way to the ocean. And then your life will be one stream of creative endeavors and moments of connection as rare as gold, and your life a golden tribute to that preciousness.
And then your blossom, all of it…the seed, the straining sprout, the potential of the bud, the epic opening, and the complete surrender with petals falling away…all of it is beautiful, over and over again…
Hang on…I know the ride is rough sometimes, but you are going to see things soon you never thought you would see. Dreams will be coming true that you’d forgotten you had even dreamt, long ago, in a reverie of lifetimes past…a moment of conclusion and sweet resolution is arriving on wings of the heart’s prayer. And when it is calm again you will see further than you ever have before, and eternity will roll through you like a long lost friend…and you will know it is speaking just to you. And knowing your true beauty, you will let it in…
Love, Jennifer www.jenniferposada.com